Tag Archives: father’s day

Scenes from Saturday + Traffic & Tacos

School is out and yesterday was the first official summer vacation drive to the Cape. I tend to believe things matter more than they do. Take…traffic. Cape traffic. There are just two (very old) bridges and everyone in New England and New York have a mutual agreement to meet at the bridges at the same time.

If we’re running late, I get stressed and irritable, convinced the entire day or weekend will be a disaster because our ETA has slipped by four minutes. But is it really that important to beat the traffic? Not really. Traffic, missing appointments, airport security lines, dance rehearsals. It can all take me out of the moment and rob a little joy for me (anyone lucky enough? to be with me). Yet often, the actual consequence if I were late or missed something is… nothing.

I often fall into the mental trap of conditional importance—if you want this result, take this action—with the idea that it would be terrible if the result didn’t happen. Sometimes it would be, obviously (getting fired from your job, being respectful etc), but often it wouldn’t.

Intellectually, if I take a step back, I know it doesn’t matter if I’m late, but my body has a hard time deciphering these mixed messages. I’ll snap or be curt or generally tighten up like Dash when he realizes why Michelle is filling up the tub.

Recognizing this helps. Recently I’ve been trying to ask myself (having a teenager gives me plenty of practice): “Wait. Does this actually matter?” Often, the answer is very clearly no. And for just a moment, I understand the Krishnamurti quote on serenity: “I don’t mind what happens.”

Then, I let my shoulders drop, and I exhale.

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Scenes from Saturday + Fleas & Tees

For all my indoor cat tendencies, I do like to plant a vegetable garden each year. With summer vacation a short half day away on Tuesday, the girls will be helping me more this year.

Forget about getting a puppy or other pet to teach kids responsibility, planting a garden is a much cheaper and just as effective way to teach kids long lasting life lessons: planning, prepping, growing, waiting. Really, if I could just work in flash cards….

In the book, Outdoor Kids in an Inside World, Steve Rinella has a chapter on the lessons families can learn from gardening. Like the best advice, it doesn’t need much space:

  1. Through our actions, we have the power to make things thrive.
  2. Neglect is deadly.

Sort of applies to a bountiful garden or…being a good parent.

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Scenes from Saturday + Pasta!

Father’s Day eve was a dishwater gray day, all day. In truth, I don’t mind a drizzly day once in awhile. There’s less pressure to wring every ounce from the day. I take it as a personal invitation to slow down. Mow the lawn tomorrow. Maybe read a book. Definitely take a nap. 

These hard-earned nuggets of fatherly wisdom are, of course, lost on my children. They just want me to stop talking in front of the TV and maybe, could you hurry up toasting those Pop-tarts?

What other indignities did I endure yesterday? Let’s find out…. Continue Reading