I have a lot of concrete goals and tactical things I want to accomplish for 2020 but I didn’t really think up a personal resolution until this week. The girls love to put on shows. There are at least one or two performances per week. You probably think this sounds cute, creative and adorable. And it should be.
But in the last year or so, I’ve become increasingly impatient and annoyed as I watch. The shows are too long. The shows are boring. The shows are repetitive. The shows lack any real dramatic tension. I was becoming an ugly jackass. For my kid’s performances. I was essentially making it all about me. Not my most pleasing personality trait.
Ego is the enemy. Of everything, but especially of the things that really matter in life. In some respects, it is all about me. I helped create these two wonderful, dancing, musical loving girls now I just have to surrender and let them keep making me better. I know I can at least be a better audience. So that is my resolution: relax and enjoy the show.
I’m slowly learning to accept that selective ignorance is a necessary parenting skill. Not all the time, of course, but sometimes it becomes very necessary to retain your sanity and enjoy being a parent without needing medicinal Merlot.
It was an up and down week as the holiday spirit drove some roller coaster emotions. As they grow up and life gets more complicated, I’m finding it more and more necessary to let go and accept that I cannot control or answer everything. One of the worst possible parenting instincts is probably to latch on and never let go. The worst, and also the hardest to break.
If I’m constantly worried about every vocab word, every assignment, every social drama, every potential catastrophe then I am going to miss out on the joy and fun of being with my kids. If you are always trying to manage the future you are missing the present. There are some problems we’ll just have to figure out on the fly. And I’m okay with that. Most days.
There’s no way you’ll get the big decisions right if you’re sweating every tiny decision.
It was a gray, unsettled, sometimes wet Saturday here. In other words, spring in New England! But it wasn’t freezing. And we weren’t over scheduled for what felt like the first time in a month. We had the usual dance class for Cecilia (recital costumes arrived today! – very exciting in the life of an 7 year old dancer), a trip to Costco (free lunch of samples for the kids!) and then some science fair prep (nothing like some Saturday homework).
As usual we started the day on the couch with a show and some maple sausages….