I tried the bagel recipe from ABiFMaD this weekend. One of the things I like about this technique is the low level of handling. Dough can be scary. It can be disobedient, slipping and oozing out of one’s grip. Those long strings of protein can have minds of their own. Handle it the wrong way and you find yourself facing some tough questions. Where’s the bread for the stew? Why did it collapse? Why does it look like underbaked snot? I’m still trying to work up the nerve to try another pie dough after the Labor Day incident of ’07.

After reading the recipe and seeing the steps again on the website, I decided to get up early and give it a try. A fool’s errand perhaps, but if things went sour, I could clean up and make some eggs to cover my shame before anyone else in the house awoke. You know what? I kicked some bagel ass. Bruegger’s? Finagle? Einstein? Piddling circles of scorn that I now sniff at in horror were they be offered to my lips. No sir, I will not take one of those holed discs of leaden stupor. I make my own bagels, you see. Sweet airy trifles that I flavor as I see fit.